We always thought Everybody's Golf had the most arrogant name in games. There it sat, wrapped in the pompous self-assurance that it's the golf game for everybody. And for its Vita debut, we can confidently say a name change is in order.
Most People's Golf might be better or, if we're being really accurate, Person Who Wants To Kill No More Than 20 Minutes And Has A Passing Interest In Golf's Golf.
The one major beef we have is there's no real reason for this game to be on Vita - its uses of the new hardware innovations (augmented reality camera, dual touchscreens) are painfully few, with the ones that are here being little more than amusing gimmicks.
For instance, you can now switch the perspective, and freely control your view by tilting the Vita. This isn't half as useful as it sounds - the camera becomes unstable and jumpy as it reacts to every shake of the hands. The best way to survey the course is to simply hold w, which pans up for a birds' eye view.
The only thing the tilt cam improves is how perverted you look on the train if the camera 'unexpectedly' tilts up the skirt of your customised golferess. Where's the rear touchscreen functionality to control shot power? Where's the touchscreen aiming? Er, yeah - hey, look at this cute outfit!
Which brings us neatly onto the main draw - creating your perfect golfing avatar by dressing him / her up in the clothes and accessories you unlock as you progress.
As is the norm, you earn unlock points by winning challenge matches - often on nine-hole courses against 19 invisible AI. To be fair, the golf here remains decent, with a pick-up-and-play shot system that has you hitting regular birdies within a few hours.
But this still feels more like a quick port than a new console's launch title, and does little to show off Sony's swish new tech.
As a handheld title it succeeds only in its most basic aim - providing bite-sized chunks of entertainment. If, however, you're looking to impress people with all the things Vita can do that PSP can't, you'd best look elsewhere.
A far-from-terrible sports game that's accessible and fun for brief periods, but lacks the creative punch to warrant its place in Vita's launch line-up