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Cleavage, boats and daft names: The Seven overriding themes of E3 2011

Three! Levine! Jorts! Basterds!

Seeing one thing in once place is known as a 'one-off'. Seeing it twice is a trend! We've looked for the secret undercurrents that have run through the entirety of this year's E3. When future generations look back on the show, it's these intrinsic factors they'll remember first...

1) Realistic representations of women in games, with simultaneous gratuitous cleavage shots

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Whether it's the newly redesigned Lara Croft or Elizabeth from Bioshock Infinite - getting strong and realistic female characters in games is clearly a priority for today's developers. With tactical use of doublethink, meanwhile, the self-same developers can also make sure that sometimes you can see right down their tops. Nudge nudge. Wink wink.

2) Being on boats

As already evidenced by our compatriots at FirstPlay, this year games were either based on something ship-shaped and floating - or they were NOTHING. We expect E3 2012 to be the year games go mental about trains.

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3) Getting Ken Levine on board

Does your Wii U need a bit of added developer support? Is your Playstation Vita in need of a little Bioshock Infinite love? Call Ken Levine! Make sure his beard is looking all nice! If you're lucky, he might even say 'f***' to underline his fervour. Competitive rates. Apply within.

4) Remaking cool bits of films in games unconnected with those films

The new Tomb Raider borrows so heavily from The Descent that Neil Marshall could demand royalties - from the bashed up lady all the way to the scramble up to the surface. As for Brothers in Arms: Furious 4, there's so many nods to Inglourious Basterds in there that Randy Pitchford has whiplash. Add in Payday: The Heist with its simultaneous love for Heat and the opening of Batman: The Dark Knight and you've got proof positive that gaming is truly the next Hollywood. Albeit somewhat repeated. (A similar trend, meanwhile, could be remaking Left 4 Dead, in games unconnected with Left 4 Dead.)

5) Three being a magic number

The number three was massive this year, all the cool kids wanted in. Mass Effect 3, Battlefield 3, Gears of War 3, Far Cry 3, Uncharted 3, Modern Warfare 3... this year 3 was so popular that hardly anyone went with boring old 'III' either. 3 is essentially the new codeword for awesome. "Hey, look at my new pair of 3 trainers" you'll be saying this time next year. (Meaning that your trainers are badass, and not that there are three of them.)

6) Stupid hardware names

Vita? That's the name of a delicious butter-like spread that's simultaneously and magically could for your heart? Right? As for the Wii U, that's just fine and dandy - but not only sounds like a knock-off Wii peripheral but also makes everyone on your friends list make shit jokes about the Doctor Who theme tune for twenty-four hours.

7) Jorts

Jorts were also big this year.

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